There are a few things that pop into my mind upon reading that question : weight, love and acceptance. And all of those kind of relate.
Taken a few months ago...
Weight : Two years ago... I was about 40 lbs heavier than I am now. It’s been a struggle to lose weight, always has been for me. But my dedication to it has fluctuated. Never at any point have a I GAINED any of the weight I’ve lost back. You know how people kind of yo-yo, like they lose weight then they give up and gain it back? Well that’s never happened. I am a PRO at MAINTAINING my weight. Whatever I lose, I work to keep off, then I go through periods of time where I double that effort and then I start to lose again. I never give up, I never gain it back, I’m just a little slow at losing it ALL! But as long it’s coming off, that’s all I care about. I have about 20 lbs MAYBE 30 lbs left to lose, but I won’t let it take another 2yrs. I’m in a good place in my life where things can continue to move forward… which leads into love and acceptance…
No, I haven’t found some great companion or anything. But I have found love! And that is LOVE and ACCEPTANCE for myself! Never have I EVER hated myself, nothing of the sort. But I have been too quick to hide, run and cover for myself when a threat was sensed. I know that sounds kind of confusing… Since I was little, I’ve always been pretty skilled at lying and covering for myself, masking the truth and putting the right face forward. I was always playing a certain character or conveying the right role. It seems that I’ve been hiding the truth of WHO I am as a way to protect myself? It was very confusing, especially when you’re trying to discover yourself, learn and grow! And it took awhile for me to realize what was happening and come to terms with it.
Well, I’ve stopped caring so much about what others think of me, and I’ve stopped concerning myself with what the right image is that I’m supposed to be portraying and I’ve become much more comfortable in my own skin. I’m being vague, on purpose. No need to hurt anyone’s feelings or anything. I will do what I need to in order to take care of myself and continue to be happy.
Why do you think I’m living in Southern California, taking risks I’ve never taken before, daring to dream, and believing that I can achieve those dreams. I’m at peace and I’m incredibly comfortable with who I am. I’m surrounding myself with people who are deserving of my friendship, and I’ve eliminated or lessened interactions with those aren’t.
Two years ago, I was happy and healthy. Today, I am the happiest and in the healthiest shape I have ever been in. It can only get better from here !
Oh and I have infinitely better hair now!!!!!